Sandipan Khandelwal

The meaning of home keeps changing with time. We rarely think of these things when we are kids; we just know where we live, eat, and play. With the transition to adolescence, we realize and start to resonate with the things and people around us. We establish and connect to the things we relate to in our life.

I was born in a Rajasthani family. My native of Rajasthan was very short-lived. When I was about a month old, we shifted to the adjacent state of Gujarat in a city called Rajkot, to which I referred to as a home for the good 17 years of my life. My father left his hometown and shifted to a new state - a new city with his family - to start a new life to look for better opportunities

.

I grew up in a culturally diverse neighborhood. Being an outsider, you often feel left out or out of place, but that feeling disappears over time as you learn to live with it. As I grew up, the urge to leave home also grew and was very consistent. Goodbyes are always tricky, but I have tried to make my peace with everything that happens. Like my father, I, too, left my hometown to look for the world out there. For higher studies, as soon as I got the chance, I left Rajkot and came to another diverse land of Maharashtra in the city of Pune. Until now, I had no understanding of a home - It had only been that I left one.

With the fresh blood of a 17-year-old and adrenaline pumping in me, I come to the city to try to make my place in a town full of strangers. Pune, as always, was somewhere I wanted to go and thought about since right after my 10th. The city is full of culture and people, and the geography is out of the world - at least for a kid from Rajkot. There were kids from all over the country, all on their own, all living their individual lives. The air had a sense of freedom and independence. With being all alone, it didn’t feel lonely.

I never missed my hometown; I was glad that I was out of it; the only time I ever really did think of home was when something wrong happened, or I felt out of place. When I got my first apartment, everything fell into place and changed after that. Building up the home by yourself, this adulting experience, is what I longed for. I met friends like family, built relationships with people, fought with many and what not. The city itself is very welcoming and loving. It is hugged by the mountains around it; the weather will always remind you of someone. I started exploring the place out, and soon, I was on different treks every weekend.

We don’t see mountains in Rajkot; the sudden richness in the nature around me made me sort of a Wordsworth myself. I discovered a new me who is not afraid of new things, someone who likes to live his life one-quarter mile at a time. The place gave me the meaning of home, where I feel the freedom, the chance to be anyone I want to be, to dream. When it was time to leave Pune, everything came to a standstill like all our lives had been paused, and we were shifting back to the older times. This was the time when I understood the meaning of home. Cities don’t change people. People don’t even change people; we are who we are, but the change does change the rhythm for a quick second. We recollect our memories and experience all at once, and the emotion is just too overpowering. With some intoxication, it’s enough to make grown boys cry.

I realize now that it’s never about a place, a room, or a state that makes it home; it’s always the human aspect, the memories, the emotions that we hold. I change many apartments throughout the course, but with each new place, the boxes of old homes make it less unknown. Over time, the notion of home keeps changing, the idea of a home will change through the course. It’s never about the place, neither Rajkot nor Pune; both are incomplete without people in it. The idea of home has a self-attained position in our hearts where we allow ourselves to be free, be us. We are in pursuit of this endeavor, and life happens along with it.

I have many homes, many places where it feels like home; it could be the hills, the streets of Pune, my friends’ place in Rajkot, and all people close to me across the country. Home doesn’t have a mathematical constant value or position; it’s our state of mind.